self-actualization

it's scary how you come to realize that things aren't in your hands anymore. and the fact that so many things are happening in your life simultaneously gives you an epiphany that made you conclude that you will never be ahead of things, ever, period. so, why bother to compete with time. either i have become deluded and my self-pity has increased tremendously or it's because i am espouse to the idea of pessimism, i am not entirely sure. life is NOT sunshine & rainbows. i question the liability of modern days television, when they disseminate ideas which are fictionalized and makes you revert to the already-existing-false logic that they have created. do you pander to these irrelevant way of being, even-knowing-that-they're-fiction, because you are stupid, or is it because one has become inseparable to the content of television. so does the blame lies upon the shoulders of story-makers, or the major corporation that sells them to us? or our parents *they bought the TV* or should we blame ourselves because of our lacking of common sense in separating fiction & facts. or do we actually negate upon these matter because our lives are so miserable to begin with that we'd rather hold on to stupid logics?